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The Ruling is…Non-Guilty (Mom Guilt, Part 2)

By February 7, 2019 No Comments

 

If you didn’t read my blog on “(Mom) Guilty as Charged (Mom Guilt, Part 1)” please do so first so that this then makes better sense. Living with Mom Guilt is anything but desirable. So how can you be freed from the chains and bonds of it? Start here:

1) Stop Comparing. There is ALWAYS going to be a group of mams doing it WAY better than you and a group of mamas who you feel pity for. That is the trap of comparison. It can leave you feeling terrible or prideful. Either way, it is a reminder to seek contentment over comparison. You can still look at Pinterest to get ideas of what COULD be, but no pressure to make it EXACTLY that. Rejoice in the joys of your mama friends on Facebook and Instagram knowing you too have our own victories whether you post them or not. Worst case, maybe you have to take a social media Sabbath. Stop comparing and seek contentment.

2) Revisit your schedule. Everyone has the same 24-hour time period every day. And we all make choices to use it differently. Determine what do you have to say, “NO!” to in order to say “YES!” to the best. Discern between the wants/coulds and the needs/should. What activities will keep you on the trajectory of parenting an interdependent Christ follower? And how do you even schedule the less-active activities like quiet time with God, one-on-one connection time with each child, date nights, etc.?

3) Seek your worth from Him. Instead of seeking your worth in the world, go to the Word. Find your strength from the ultimate source of strength and worthiness. When you are plugged into the source, He can and will infuse you with everything you need and more.

4) Reach out. As I ended the last blog, reach out. This may mean professionally seek out the wise counsel of your primary care physician, a therapist/counselor, etc. This may mean reengaging in community living with others in fun nights, small group Bible study, etc. And seeking accountability and encouragement from those we love and trust is crucial. We truly are better together.

Again, this is not an exhaustive list of “Mom Guilt” cure-alls.   However, it can help to move you down a path of healing and redemption. The feelings of guilt are real, but it does not have to be all-consuming or overwhelming. Trust me, I struggle with it on the regular. But do not let it define you. Be freed from the “Mom Guilt” chains and reexperience the joys and freedom in simply being MOM.

Liza Gant

Liza Gant oversees the discipleship of Saddleback Kids as well as partners with Kurt Johnston on the oversight of all things Saddleback Parents.She has been in full-time ministry at Saddleback Church since 2005.Additionally, she is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist focused on Christian counseling in south Orange County.She is a graduate of the University of California San Diego with a BA in Sociology.And she has earned two Masters—Marriage & Family Therapy and Psychology—in herpost-graduate work at Alliant International University.She and her husband, Jeremy, live in Orange County, California with their precious four children—3 girls and 1 boy.
Liza Gant

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